Hose that critic! Ever wanted to get even with one of those smart aleck, opinionated, unsympathetic, party-pooper theater critics who stick irritating burrs under the sweaty saddle blanket of your treasured, perfectly crafted and exquisitely executed production? Today, 7/23, two regional theatre artists got the chance to work out some symbolic frustration on regional theatre critic Alexandra Bonifield.
Alexandra fell on July 13 and broke her left ankle (not while reviewing a play, not even trying to experience the gritty reality of the cheery industry saying break a leg). Since then, she’s been exploring the delights of bedpan/ walker/ wheelchair culture in a plaster wrapped splint, waiting for surgery. Doctor’s orders were to not get the splint wet. So, she hasn’t been able to bathe except by sponge bath. For ten days. As much as she enjoys getting all hot and sweaty in the relentless Dallas summer scorch and humidity wave (climate change, just warmin’ up), not bathing has become a royal stinky pain in the foot. Or ankle.
Today Alexandra incorporated her penchant for theatre advocacy with an opportunity for artistic retribution. She invited members of her Broken Ankle Relief Brigade to stop by, roll her into the backyard in her wheelchair (a temporary donation by Oklahoma City Repertory Theatre’s Donald Jordan), and work out their frustration caused by unfair reviews by giving her a full hose down, al fresco. Regional actress Dolores Godinez (just closed a successful run with Shakespeare Dallas in As You Like It) and award-winning playwright/producer Isabella Russell Ides ( Coco & Gigi, Leonard’s Car, ¡CENOTE! and The Early Education of Conrad Eppler) enjoyed venting their well synchronized angst by giving critic Alexandra a thorough bath and shampoo.
Dolores revealed masterful, if restrained, physical technique in her nuanced wrapping of the critic’s splinted leg in plastic and shampooing, while Isabella wove an encompassing tale of over the top inundation leading to a dazzling catharsis. All told, it was an unforgettable cleansing experience for the body, mind, heart and spirit….
Alexandra goes into Dallas’ Parkland Hospital for ankle surgery Monday July 25 and will emerge more bionic than she’s ever dreamed of. Stay tuned. Volunteer to participate in the on-going Relief Brigade or the next critic hosing. Donate if you can spare some greenbacks. Here’s how: https://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/c/644482/
Gosh, that hosing felt fabulous!